


Lavender Rose

by bttmzzt



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, one-sided ZhengYi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-02 17:25:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bttmzzt/pseuds/bttmzzt
Summary: a hanahaki disease fic, contains ZhengYi and ZhengKun (mentioned). this supposed to be ZhengYi fic but ended up as Ziyi centric instead, i don't know what happened-english is not my mother language so sorry if the grammar sucks,





	1. Chapter 1

_It’s okay_ he thought, _Zhengting loves flowers._

 

***

Ziyi smiles as he waves goodbye to the pretty guy who’s enthusiastically waving to him before he turns his attention to the other guy and leaves, hand in hand, finger intertwined, and just like that Ziyi can feel another vine circling around his lungs a little too tight.

Wang Ziyi, to describe him as a selfless individual might be right, but too shallow. His bestfriend, describe him as a martyr of love, as cheesy as it sounds. People thought he’s cold, stone-hearted and all because of his calm appearance, people around him always think that he’s a heartless guy who act solely based on the logical and rational reasons. When it’s not completely wrong, because it’s right that Ziyi is a logical and rational guy, but one thing that people get wrong about him is that he doesn’t have a heart. He has a heart and it’s owned by a beauty called Zhu Zhengting, and the irony is Zhengting don’t know that he’s holding Ziyi’s heart in his little hands.

 

 ***

 “Yo, Ziyi I’m back! I bring some sna—”

 

COUGH—

 

“Ziyi?”

“I’m okay, Rui”

 

Zhou Rui, ziyi’s bestfriend, roommate and self-titled big brother sighs and walk in, not even bother to take off his shoes and take off his jacket. He instantly spotted his bestfriend on his the couch and sighs again; if he got a dollar every time he sighs he would be rich by now.

 

“no you are not fine, the flower petals volume is increasing every time you cough them out, tell him or go get surgery” Rui said, putting his grocery on the table, clearly concerned.

Ziyi let out a little chuckle and shakes his head before laying down “you know? I don’t know if I would feel stuff like this again if I got surgery, Rui” he said, his voice soft, but not calm not even a beat off and sounded sad.

“Ziy—”

“Love is weird right? You get hurt but you’re okay with it because what is a little pain compare to the happiness it brought you.” Ziyi looks up, a soft smile decorating his face. “you gotta pay the price for everything man, if it’s Zhengting’s happiness then I’ll be fine.” he continues.

“I can’t decide that you’re a hopeless romantic or stupid.” Rui rolled his eyes before taking his shoes and jacket off and proceed to his room and Ziyi closes his eyes, drifting to the dreamland.

 

***

 

_Lavender rose._

The flower that Ziyi keep spitting out of his lungs, he didn’t know what the flower means at first and then laughed his ass off when he knew, because it was so tragically beautiful that he keeps choking on a flower that means _First love_.

 

Ziyi met Zhengting when they’re both 12 years old at a company dinner, both parents are a business partner and they hope their sons could get along. Zhengting is a cheerful kid, he is cute and loved by people around him, his passion for dancing is a bit worrying according to his parents. Zhengting could dance for six to nine hour every Saturday and some stolen hours on weekdays.

Opposite of Zhengting, Ziyi is pretty average and just like other 12 years old normally, he likes video games and hate going to school, but there’s one thing that he thinks he and Zhengting shares, Ziyi love dancing especially hip-hop and break dancing, he’s been practicing and dancing since he was nine years old and that’s how their first conversation start.

 

_“you like to dance too?”_

_Ziyi looks up to find the other boy smiling at him, Ziyi always thought that there’ll be no one who’s more beautiful than his mom and today that was proven wrong. The boy’s eye smile is adorable, he looks like those fairies in his mother bedtime stories. Ziyi found himself unconsciously smiles back his sheepish smile, a little stunned but then he remembers that he needs to answer the boy’s question so he quickly said that he loves hip-hop and breakdancing_

_The other boy smiles and lets out a chuckle before replying. “that’s interesting! I love watching people breakdancing! I do traditional dances and ballet? But I really want to learn contemporary too later!” he said, eyes gleaming just the thought of it._

 

Little did Ziyi know that his heart won’t let go of the memory or their first met, because it’s the exact moment where his heart decided to fall in love for the first time.

.

***

 

“—yi, iyi—, Wang Ziyi!”

Ziyi blinks, he looks up and looks around, he’s still in the campus’s cafeteria and Zhengting sitting across of him, looking at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?” he asked, “you’re just blankly staring at your lunch, just tossing them around with your spoon…” he continued.

Ziyi let out a small ‘ahh’ and shakes his head. “Too tired, the professor won’t let me rest…” he said, not fully a lie because an engineering student always looks like a zombie anyway, thanks to their professor. “Don’t worry, I’ll get some rest and I’ll be okay” he said.

Zhengting pouts and nods, and Ziyi trying hard not to cups the other’s face and peck those lips, because the bracelet in Zhengting hand reminds him again that Zhengting is not his to kiss and hold, and just of the thought of it, more vines growing in his lungs, hugging his heart a little bit tighter.

But as usual, Ziyi smiles and pats the other on his head saying he worried too much these days and tell him to stop worrying before he got wrinkles and looks old.

 

***

 

Just like other people, Ziyi has his bad days with the flowers, this one time he saw Zhengting and his boyfriend Xukun sharing a cute time together in the dormitory lobby, laughing and Xukun peppering pecks on Zhengting’s rosy cheeks.

His flower gone wild, the vines get tighter and the flowers threatened to burst out, so he had to make a run to his room, barge in and slamming the door close and waking Rui up, to find him having a coughing fit, spitting lavender roses and yellow rose petals, a little blood dripping along the petals.

 

_Yellow rose means jealousy._

 

“I’m ok—”

“No, you are not okay, Wang Ziyi. Don’t give me I’m okay, because you’re never OKAY.”

“I’ll be.”

 

That day, Ziyi skip all of his classes and have Rui cancelled all his plans to take care of him, because the coughing fit doesn’t stop until dawn, this is the longest ‘bad day’ in his history of ‘bad day’, and for the first time, Ziyi feels like he’s actually dying.

 

“you’ll die, Ziyi.”

“People die, Rui”

“You, have options, Ziyi!”

 

The talk, Ziyi hates it. Rui is one of the closest friends he has beside Zhengting and he knows that Rui just looking after him, he’s that mother’s friend type anyway. But, Ziyi can’t even bear the thought of living without having a feeling for Zhengting.

 

“I’ll end up falling in love with him again anyway, I know,” Ziyi said, chuckling to himself, thinking he would be okay without the feeling he has for Zhengting is the most stupid thing he ever thinks of, he grow up with the feeling, the feeling grow up with him. It’s almost like a suicide to kill the feeling.

 

“so why you never make a move on him then? Even before Xukun came…” Rui sighs.

“No, better not. I don’t want to lose him or having him pitying my condition.” Ziyi answered.

 

Ziyi is more than ready to die, it’s his price for wanting Zhengting who’s like the forbidden fruit, someone who you can’t have. But everything ended up not like what he predicts.


	2. Chapter 2

“The sky is crying again Ting...” Ziyi mumbled and let out a little chuckle, the sounds of nature replied to him, the rain is getting lighter after he said that making him smiles more.

“Xukun was right you know, it does still hurt” he added.

 

“even after all these years” He smiles, lowering his umbrella to protect the other from the rain.

 

***

 

Ziyi looks around the campus to find Zhengting, but maybe Zhengting takes a day off today because Ziyi can’t find him everywhere. Library, studio, campus’s cafe, even the animal shelter Zhengting volunteer in.

The staff at the shelter said he takes a day off because he’s not feeling well, and that is the only info he got about Zhengting that day.

 

 _‘something is wrong’_ he thoughts. Because he knows Zhengting would call him if he doesn’t feel well.

 

***

 

He meets Xukun and Zhengting the next day and Zhengting avoids him with a polite smile and Xukun’s smile was apologetic.

 

_‘why’_

 

That day he comes home to Zhou Rui and his boyfriend talking about what topping goes best with spicy ramyun, they even ask what topping Ziyi prefer, but the question was lost in the void of Ziyi’s mind.

Ziyi can’t stop thinking about Xukun’s apologetic smile. _‘he knows something’_

Ziyi is not dumb, he knows that something is not right, and it involved him and Zhengting, the worst is Xukun know something and he doesn’t

 

Xukun knows what’s wrong with Zhengting but he knows nothing. He hates that, Zhengting used to tell him everything even after he got together with Xukun, but not this time.

 

***

 

It took a week for him to think of this one probability.

 

_‘Zhengting knows about his feeling’_

 

Ziyi panics, he walked out the classroom and run towards his dorm to find Zhou Rui, but he finds Xukun instead, eyes bloodshot like he been crying the whole night, he’s a mess. It was not the Xukun he knows.

 

“What are you doing here?” Ziyi asked, trying to remain calm.

 

But instead an answer from Xukun, Ziyi got a question thrown at him back.

 

“Do you love him?”

 

Ziyi blinks, once, twice... his brain processed ‘him’ as Zhengting and then he unconsciously nods. Too much holding back a feeling sometimes get your heart to control your mind and body.

Xukun laughs and shakes his head, whispering under his breath, Ziyi hears such a moron and coward but before he could say anything Xukun smiles and asked, voice low, in the verge of breaking.

 

“do you want to see him?”

 

***

 

Ziyi stares at the beauty in front of him. He remembers, that Zhengting always been pretty in his life, his look always so ethereal that he thinks that probably Zhengting comes from another world or Realm, the fairy realm as he recalls his nickname for Zhengting.

Zhengting put those white lilies around him on shame.

 

White lilies?

 

Ziyi looks around, quite confused, why are people crying? Zhengting looks so beautiful in a white robe, surrounded by lilies.

 

White robe.

White lilies.

 

Ziyi looks at Xukun and smile, shaking his head.

“I’m going home, I’ll wake up, and this nightmares will be gone.”

“Ziyi...”

“NO-“

“Ziyi!”

 

People are staring.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS STARING AT?! ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME? HE’S HEALTHY AND THERE’S NO ACCIDENT! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE AND I’LL WAKE UP!... he’ll wake up, and everything going to be okay... everything goint to be normal...”

 

Ziyi was about to turn around when he spots Zhengting’s mother walking towards him, and hugs him, sobbing hard and there, Ziyi realized that he’s crying too.

 

That day Ziyi cried, he cried his heart out.

He cried like he never cries, the vines in his chest feels like they have grown thorns, piercing his heart leaving ugly gaping holes.

 

He coughs out dead leaves.

 

_sadness_

 

***

 

It’s the burial day, Xukun walks up to him, hands him an envelope.

 

“Zheng-“

“you know, right”

 

Xukun stays silent and it takes everything for Ziyi not to punch him.

 

“it’s his request,” Xukun said. “I couldn’t say no, he looks so miserable thinking that you’ll hate him for it...” He added.

 

Ziyi took the envelope and looks at the other guy.

 

“what about you? You like him too or it’s just-“

“I had my flowers removed. I Can’t fall in love anymore.” Xukun cut Ziyi off. “My flowers for Zhengting, I got them removed. I got my withered flowers removed”

 

_Rejected Love._

 

“I always thought that I saw an angel when I first saw him...” Xukun said, “he was smiling down at me, asking if I want to join the dancing club, I agree on the spot.” He continued, laughing. “everything was fine until I realized that it was hopeless. He said it in my face, and that day I come home, coughing out withered flowers.” He smiles and looks at Ziyi.

 

Ziyi looks away, Xukun looks as broken as he is.

 

“I can’t fall in love again, Ziyi. But it still hurt” Xukun laughs. “Zhengting is really something right?”

 

Ziyi smiles sadly and put the envelope in his pocket as Xukun turn around, about to leave. But then Xukun stops and let out a long sigh.

 

“You know, the last flower he coughs out was primrose”

 

_I can’t live without you._

 

***

 

**_Hi, Ziyi._ **

****

**_This is so coward I know, so sorry._ **

**_When you read this, you know I’m not around anymore._ **

****

Ziyi stops reading as his sight getting blurry. He can’t. Zhengting voice was reading it for him and his heart bleed a bit more for every word engraved in the paper.

 

**_Ziyi, I really am thankful to have a best friend, childhood friend, a mentor somehow (but I still think that b-boy fits me.)_ **

 

Ziyi laughs a little, shaking his head. His mind having a little flashback to when Zhengting challenge himself to learn breakdancing. The whole practice was just Zhengting whines that he looks awkward.

 

  ** _I know you probably hate me now, I’m so sorry._**

**_I can’t bear the thought of you hating me because of this so, I think that this is good I’m not around anymore? You can hate me freely now..._ **

****

Ziyi let out a little choked ‘no’ as his tears roll down his cheeks. How could he hate the love of his life?

 

**_I love you, Ziyi._ **

**_I feel a little relieved that I finally said it, I wish you all the happiness that you can have in this world Ziyi. You deserve hap—_ **

****

Ziyi crumples the letter and throws it across the room. He can’t read it, he can’t read that Zhengting wishing him the happiness he deserves.

 

“My happiness is you, idiot.”

 

Another night full of tears, and choked sobs.

 

***

 

 

“The sky is crying again Ting...” Ziyi mumbled and let out a little chuckle, the sounds of nature replied to him, the rain is getting lighter after he said that making him smiles more.

“Xukun was right you know, it does still hurt” he added.

 

“even after all these years” He smiles, lowering his umbrella to protect the other from the rain.

 

The tombstone stands still, like it staring back at Ziyi.

The name craved on it look so familiar and beautiful, the picture embeds on the stone still smiling at him just like 50 years ago.

 

Ziyi is 74 years old now, and he had his flowers removed.

But his heart still aches for Zhengting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is trash, I'll try to make something less trash than this...

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. lmao sorry for the cliffhanger, i'll update it soon!


End file.
